A little over a week has passed in the Lenten season. As I mentioned before, I gave up social media and alcohol for this 40 day period. With so much "free time" on my hands now that I'm not spending almost every waken moment on a social network, I have decided to use my time listening to sermons and uplifting music.
Almost every day I head over to YouTube and search around for a sermon by some of my favorite online pastors. The other day, I watched a sermon by T.D. Jakes and another by Joel Osteen about accepting God's will and how the "story" of our lives is already written and prearranged. Both sermons talked about how nothing that happens in our lives catches God off guard. He is not surprised by anything that comes our way. After listening to these sermons, I felt a great sense of peace over my life and prepared myself to fully trust God and know that everything that happens in my life is under His control and it's already worked out before it even begins.
And then an incident happened this week that has truly challenged me to put my trust to work.
I had had a long day at work on Monday and didn't end up getting home until almost 6:30pm. This is way later than I usually get home and my dog had been at home all day without being let out. I pulled up to the house in a frenzied state and immediately rushed in to get her outside to have her evening walk after she finished eating her dinner. As we were walking, I noticed two other dog owners walking their pets in the distance. Blanche gets very excited when she sees other dogs and sometimes this becomes a huge production so I try to avoid it as much as possible. Well this time, I happened to recognize the dog walkers coming my way, but I didn't want to seem rude by turning around and walking in the other direction to avoid Blanche getting all excited and carrying on as they approached us. I considered turning the other way, but decided against it and proceeded to walk towards the other dogs and their owners. As soon as we got close enough, I spoke to the other owners and Blanche and one of the dogs greeted each other. The other dog has shown a dislike for Blanche during a previous encounter so her owner attempted to stand back and restrain her dog from coming closer. Well....she let the leash go accidentally and her dog charged at Blanche and attacked her! I'm standing in the scuffle with the dogs and finally the lady regained control and retrieved her dog. As we walked off, I noticed that Blanche's back was bleeding. I immediately thought she had just been scratched during the altercation and I figured I'd clean her up as soon as we got home...no big deal.
When we got home, I took a closer look and discovered that the other dog bit Blanche!! The wound was so deep that I could see my baby's flesh!! I immediately took to the internet to figure out how I could help her and tried not to panic and prayed that the internet would suggest a simple fix sans me having to take her to the vet. Of course every site suggested taking the bitten dog to the vet. I cleaned the wound and did a home remedy fix on her since the vet was closed when this happened and decided I'd just call them in the morning. Later on that evening, I began to replay the situation over in my head and began to get a little upset thinking "if only I had gotten home earlier, we wouldn't have been outside at the same time as that other dog" or "if only I had trusted my first instinct and turned the other way." There were a lot of "if only I..." statements that popped into my head, but then I thought about the sermons and the message regarding fully trusting God and accepting that my life is already written out so there's no need to ask those questions or worry.
I immediately felt peace about the whole situation and rested assured that night that God would work it out. I felt at peace until....
I got to work and told any and everyone about the incident! I was asking for advice about how the treat the wound and also asking about what I should do regarding the lady and her dog who bit Blanche. I was getting different opinions from all different walks of life and I immediately began to question everything. I started to get a little anxious about stuff especially since I had limited information about the woman who owned the dog. What if the dog was not up to date on it's shots?? What if Blanche gets an infection!? When will I find time to take her to the vet? Oh and on top of that, the vet bill is something I was totally not wanting to have to deal with! Such an unexpected expense! I realized in that moment of slight panic that I put myself in this predicament to start feeling this way. I went from being at peace and knowing God would work it out, to being worked up! The incident happened and there was nothing I could do about it. We couldn't go back and time and erase the dog fight. Blanche was still wounded and I had to do my part as a dog owner to ensure she was taken care of.
Because I didn't know the woman's information, I called the other woman she was walking with to see if she could help me out. I called her up and left a message asking her to please have the other owner call me if she wouldn't mind. Well the other owner did in fact call me and apologized for the incident and offered to pay the vet bill. GREAT! Thanks!! I felt like everything was back under control until....
The day I took Blanche to the vet, I had to leave her for the day because I couldn't find any other time in my schedule to just take her and wait to be seen. The vet offered to keep her for the day and they would get to her wound when they could and I could pick her up after work. Since I wouldn't be there to oversee any services done, the vet gave me an estimate of a "worst case" scenario amount of how much it would cost if they had to perform all of the listed services that are typically involved in wound care. The total came up to $237!! Now even though the woman offered to pay the bill, I was still responsible for paying this bill to my vet and what if she didn't have that much money to pay? I know I didn't have an extra $237 laying around to pay for a vet bill. I immediately started to feel uneasy, yet signed the papers and left Blanche to be cared for.
When I left the vet, I called the woman to let her know how much the care was estimated to cost and it all went into a whirl wind from there. To make a long story short, basically there was a lot of back and forth calling between the woman and my vet's office and a nasty attitude thrown around in there too. It got so bad that the vet informed me that I would have to pay the bill and have her reimburse me because they didn't want her calling anymore because she was so mean and nasty to them. When I picked Blanche up, her care came up to a total of $113.78 instead of the estimated $237.00. I paid the bill and called the woman immediately to share with her the cost of the bill. She didn't answer so I had to leave a message. After I left the message, I decided that I was totally letting this go and not worrying about it anymore. Blanche was doing just fine and I put the bill on my credit card. I also told myself that even if the woman never called me back, this happened for a reason and God will provide and that this bill would not set me back financially in any other area of my life.
The woman didn't call back that night and I was tempted to panic, but I remained calm. The next day, she called and left a message asking for my address and said she would drop the money off. I returned her call and left a message with the address, but in the middle of the message, I got cut off and wasn't able to finish. I left another message and hoped that it went through. No call back that night and she didn't show up to my house. The next day, no call, no money. Still I told myself not to panic. A negative thought crept into my head thinking "maybe she didn't get your message. Maybe you got cut off and she thinks you didn't call her back". I immediately dismissed those thoughts and said "God will take care". I rested assured that night and pushed it all to the back of my mind.
This morning, the woman shows up to my house with the money and an apology note. I thanked her and assured her that I wasn't upset with her or her dog for the incident. I also felt good about not being my anxious self and blowing this woman's phone up or worrying about exactly when she was going to come. It was so freeing to just relax and just let stuff happen the way it was supposed to happen. It was even better that I didn't work myself up over something that I had no control over.
Trusting that God will take care of everything is way better than worrying! In this situation, I had to realize that you can say you trust God all day, but when it comes down to the opportunity to show it, that's when it gets real! I can be hard to trust when you don't know how things are going to turn out, but that's when we have to realize that we have to trust in him with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).
Because I didn't know the woman's information, I called the other woman she was walking with to see if she could help me out. I called her up and left a message asking her to please have the other owner call me if she wouldn't mind. Well the other owner did in fact call me and apologized for the incident and offered to pay the vet bill. GREAT! Thanks!! I felt like everything was back under control until....
The day I took Blanche to the vet, I had to leave her for the day because I couldn't find any other time in my schedule to just take her and wait to be seen. The vet offered to keep her for the day and they would get to her wound when they could and I could pick her up after work. Since I wouldn't be there to oversee any services done, the vet gave me an estimate of a "worst case" scenario amount of how much it would cost if they had to perform all of the listed services that are typically involved in wound care. The total came up to $237!! Now even though the woman offered to pay the bill, I was still responsible for paying this bill to my vet and what if she didn't have that much money to pay? I know I didn't have an extra $237 laying around to pay for a vet bill. I immediately started to feel uneasy, yet signed the papers and left Blanche to be cared for.
When I left the vet, I called the woman to let her know how much the care was estimated to cost and it all went into a whirl wind from there. To make a long story short, basically there was a lot of back and forth calling between the woman and my vet's office and a nasty attitude thrown around in there too. It got so bad that the vet informed me that I would have to pay the bill and have her reimburse me because they didn't want her calling anymore because she was so mean and nasty to them. When I picked Blanche up, her care came up to a total of $113.78 instead of the estimated $237.00. I paid the bill and called the woman immediately to share with her the cost of the bill. She didn't answer so I had to leave a message. After I left the message, I decided that I was totally letting this go and not worrying about it anymore. Blanche was doing just fine and I put the bill on my credit card. I also told myself that even if the woman never called me back, this happened for a reason and God will provide and that this bill would not set me back financially in any other area of my life.
The woman didn't call back that night and I was tempted to panic, but I remained calm. The next day, she called and left a message asking for my address and said she would drop the money off. I returned her call and left a message with the address, but in the middle of the message, I got cut off and wasn't able to finish. I left another message and hoped that it went through. No call back that night and she didn't show up to my house. The next day, no call, no money. Still I told myself not to panic. A negative thought crept into my head thinking "maybe she didn't get your message. Maybe you got cut off and she thinks you didn't call her back". I immediately dismissed those thoughts and said "God will take care". I rested assured that night and pushed it all to the back of my mind.
This morning, the woman shows up to my house with the money and an apology note. I thanked her and assured her that I wasn't upset with her or her dog for the incident. I also felt good about not being my anxious self and blowing this woman's phone up or worrying about exactly when she was going to come. It was so freeing to just relax and just let stuff happen the way it was supposed to happen. It was even better that I didn't work myself up over something that I had no control over.
Trusting that God will take care of everything is way better than worrying! In this situation, I had to realize that you can say you trust God all day, but when it comes down to the opportunity to show it, that's when it gets real! I can be hard to trust when you don't know how things are going to turn out, but that's when we have to realize that we have to trust in him with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).
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