Being Mary Jane

Last night, I got an opportunity to watch a new sitcom that BET is launching called Being Mary Jane featuring Gabrielle Union as Mary Jane Paul.  I don't have cable so when the premiere came on earlier this month, I was not able to partake in watching the show with the rest of the world (or whoever chose to watch).  My social media accounts buzzed with commentary regarding the show and discussed how they liked it or disliked it.  I saw more good commentary than bad, so I totally wanted to check this out for myself. Finally, I found a site online that had a link to watch the entire show. 

After watching, my opinion is that I liked it! I really like Gabrielle Union so that could be my first bias.  Either way, overall, I thought it was a good show and after watching some clips from what to expect when the series airs in January 2014, I was hooked! I felt like it looked like it was going to be a really good show! I am also a comments junkie who will sometimes sit and read the majority of the comments people post on these sites.  Again, the majority of the comments were positive! People expressed how much they liked the show and how they couldn't wait until it comes on again. 

Of course we all know nothing is going to get ALL stellar reviews.  There was this one review which left me basically speechless.  As much as I tried, there was no argument I could say against the comment.  Here it is below:

To All (No one in particular)

I have to disagree with this show being great. I think this show is an example of why there are so many single black women in this world. Some black women have a false hope that they deserve a baller or an elite man and have no skill, discipline, or self-respect to keep a baller. This woman is sleeping around, she makes it ok for men to show up to her home unannounced and sleep with her AND people are like oh but she has a great career. Honey!!her soul is dead and she is miserable.  Mary Jane allowed herself to be subjected to midnight dinner invites – nothing public. This woman is craving real love Her career can’t lover her, grow with her, keep her legacy alive (produce children). Mary Jane is drowning. And her own black sisters think this is great or a cute show and are looking forward to sitting back to watch this trash.

I know many of you may say “it’s just a show”, but I tell you crap like this is so relatable, because many of you woman posting – live this same life. A master’s degree or career success should not give Mary Jane a pass to be ratchet. Many don’t look down at Mary Jane, because she doesn’t have kids running around or work at the local hair store, but she is doing the same thing as Shay (Love & Hip Hop) or other girls that we turn our noses up at. But it’s ok because she is successful. Huh?

There was not 1 positive image of a black man on the show.

Lover #1 – married playing games

Lover #2 – not looking for a serious relationship. (Ex lover bouncing in and out of her life)

Father – not taking control of the family/household

Older brother – living at home with his parents, raising his kids at his parents’ house

Younger brother – no car, Mary Jane (good ole black woman has to save the day) 

Neighbor – homosexual (can’t procreate and continue black life)

No disrespect to anyone, but if you are offended than you are a part of this problem. My intentions were to make you aware “In love” – Have a great day/evening. Watch these messages people. You are being insulted right in front of you own faces and you think it’s cute.

Signed a Black Woman wanting to see her people do better.

Well damn! I mean what can you say to that!? Well actually, after reading it again, there were a few things that I felt like I could interject about, but for the most part, she has a point here.  One interjection is that I didn't get that Mary Jane feels like she deserves a "baller" or "elite" man.  I think she's just looking for love in all the wrong places.  According to a background description of the show on another site, the character Mary Jane is 40 years old. In empathizing with her, but not excusing poor decisions, I'm sure to be 40 and have yet to find love or be able to have children could make some woman feel some type of way. In fact, I'm quite sure it makes them feel some type of way. Now I'm not saying this for all women who are 40 and still single without children, I said some women.  

I do agree with the part about how women can relate to this show. You may not be able to relate to all that's going on, but there are some aspects of Mary Jane's life that you probably saw or see in your own life. Perhaps that's why it's drawing such a crowd of followers.  Like it or not Miss. Commenter, but if it's relatable, it's relatable. Should we be doing better? Heck yeah! Have we been in Mary Jane's shoes at one time or another (or some of us may still be in her shoes)...probably so! You may have been there when you were  in your 20s or 30s instead of at 40, but my take is that it's not out of the norm tor over-dramatized  Again, I'm not excusing this behavior or giving it a pass, I'm just saying it is what it is. 

After reading this comment and reflecting on my own thoughts of the show, my hope is that Mary Jane will evolve over time. I'm hoping for a "started from the bottom now we here" type of thing.  You can't go through life carrying on like you've never made a mistake! You can also learn what not to do, by watching the mistakes of others.  Maybe this commenter felt like it was making black women look bad, thus her feelings of discord for the story line. She then went on to say some pretty unnecessary things about how Gabrielle Union is basically living out her own life through this character (re: her relationship with D. Wade).  That did not strengthen her argument in my opinion.  

I do think that the commenter's hope is that we will start showing a better depiction of black people, women, families, men, etc. on television! There are so many shows out right now that basically have black people looking a ratchet mess! Where are the positive images? Shows that I grew up on like The Cosby Show, Family Matters, Fresh Prince of BelAir, Sister, Sister, Hanging with Mr. Cooper, Good Times, etc. all depicted a growing, prospering, and positive image of a black family.  We don't have many of those shows out anymore and if they have had a chance at being aired, they didn't last long (Reed Between the Lines was a good show that I liked, but it didn't last long).  I've heard these shows don't last because it's not enough "drama" in them to keep viewers attention.  

If you have seen the show, what are you thoughts on it? 

The Mrs. Carter Tour aka the highlight of my summer!!!!

Summer vacation is rapidly dwindling down for me! I have 2 weeks from today before I go back to work for the 2013-2014 school year. I must admit, I have had a phenomenal summer!

Before summer began, I was asked by coworkers "what are you doing this summer? Are you traveling anywhere?" My response was "ehh I've got a few things planned, but I'm not doing any serious traveling." I wasn't too confident that I was going to have an amazing summer, even though the events I knew I was going to attend were exciting to me. I suppose not having a vacation in another country planned kept me from fully feeling like this was going to be a summer for the proverbial "books".  

This past Saturday, I was blessed with the opportunity to travel down to Charlotte, North Carolina with my best friend Jaime to see Beyonce in concert!! Jaime convinced me back in February when the tickets went on sale that we should go. With a limited mind, I reluctantly agreed to seek out getting tickets because I was convinced that the tickets would be way too expensive, or damn near impossible to obtain.  Jaime excitedly assured me that we could get tickets and that we should totally go because this is BEYONCE!! 

At the time, I liked Beyonce and respected her as an artist, but she wasn't someone I would classify as my all time "favorite".  Now don't get me wrong, I love her music! I have always liked a plethora of her songs and she can dance her tail off!! I give her credit for that! I just was thinking, umm...I don't really care to spend a lot of money on a concert.  With enough convincing, Jaime and I purchased tickets and patiently waited until July 27th.  

After watching Beyonce's documentary on HBO Life is but a dream, I gained a higher level of respect and admiration for her.  I was even more excited now about seeing her in concert! It also helped get me revved up as other friends of mine had gone to a concert in different parts of the country during this tour and they shared their excitement and stamp of approval of a job well done! 

Jaime and I arrived in Charlotte and met my sister, Ange and her husband, Chika.  We went out to lunch when we arrived and hit the mall to get some final additions to our outfits for the show. We then headed back to the hotel to get dressed. By this time, I was bursting with excitement and couldn't wait to get to the arena! We got there a little late, so we missed the opening act, but that was alright with me. We got there just in time to find out seats and relax before Bey took the stage! 

As soon as she got on, THE CROWD WENT WILD!!!! Of course we did!!! And she put on a hell of a show!!!! She looked amazing and boy can she MOVE!!! It's a true talent to be able to sing AND dance in HIGH HEELS without sounding like you're going to pass out! In between costume changes and set changes, the audience was entertained with video clips and graphic effects. It was definitely an explosive show and I can confidently say it was the best concert I've ever been to!!! 

One of the most inspiring aspects of the concert was a video clip that was played.  I was lucky enough to find it on YouTube to share with all of you! I hope it inspires you too!! 

 

Hats off Mrs. Carter!! You did your thang girl!!!! I hope to see her again in concert!! It was definitely worth every penny!!!!!! 

Proverbs 4:23

                                                             

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" -- Proverbs 4:23 [NIV]

This scripture has been surfacing in my life for the past couple of months. It's become one of my favorite scriptures and also one that I have spent great time meditating on and using as a reference in prayer.  Last night, the scripture appeared on an Instagram post that I reposted from another user, then it happened to be in a book that I was reading before bed. I figured it was confirmation that God wanted my attention and focus on it even more so I decided to blog about it.

Although it's become a favorite, I must admit I haven't always been 100% sure what it really meant. Like what does it really mean to guard your heart? And who/what are you guarding it from!? When I think of guard, naturally, I think of this....

meet the token "guard dog" LOL

And then I've considered that maybe a guarded heart looks a little bit like this...

But then I thought about where this scripture is coming from and it's from God. None of these images reflect God in my opinion. Being calloused and vicious or keeping your heart protected by something so that it's almost impossible to let anything or anyone in can't be what this is all about. 

The last piece of the scripture says "...for everything you do flows from it".  How true is this!? The heart is such a tender yet amazing organ. Without it, we clearly are dead from an anatomical point of view. But from a emotional side, how we feel, what we do, our motives, etc. all come from our heart as well. 

A friend of mine shared this blog post that another blogger wrote on the topic. After reading her point of view, I gained a different perspective.  I had never thought about it like this. She basically relates guarding your heart from Satan.  To keep him from getting into your heart by using people, emotions, and situations to gain access. I like this perspective that we must guard ourselves from tricky Satan.  

I admit that ever since the first time I saw this scripture, I thought about guarding your heart in a romantic relationship (there goes the lover in me).  Then as I continued to see the scripture used in different contexts, I realized that it's not just in romantic relationships, but with any relationship with others. We must take hold of our emotions, gain control, and be very careful yet prayerful especially when emotions are high.  

Be open, but be smart when you're dealing with others. Mainly, I took it to mean that I should stay connected to God and look to Him to guide and lead me in every situation. Ask Him for His help before you take matters into your own hands and act out of emotion or impulsively.  I think we've all acted out of emotion and later regretted our emotional decision once we had a chance to calm down or get back to a neutral state of mind.  

And speaking of your mind, these other translations of the verse translate directly to pertaining to the mind. The Common English Bible (CEB) translation says "more than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it" . And finally The Good News Translation (GNT) says "be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts".  Sometimes our thoughts can run wild and it almost feels as if we can't control the things that come into our mind. I know I have struggled with my thoughts and had to quickly try to turn negative thoughts into more positive ones.

Be careful what you're putting into your mind.  Fill your mind with things that encourage you instead of discourage you. Be careful who you take advice from and who you share things with. It's so natural for us to turn to friends, family, coworkers, acquaintances, etc. when we're going through things especially if we think they will understand what we're going through because they have once been there.  Turning to God is really all we need! His advice is what's best for our lives!  With Him, we can't go wrong! 

What does this scripture mean to you? 

Meet the Browns!!!

This past weekend, I witnessed one of my best friends get married!!! Here we have Mr. and  Mrs. James Howard Brown!!! Ok so where to start to describe how amazing this day was!! 

Let me first start by saying the reception was LIKE THAT!!! We had such a great time!! Good music, great food, and everyone danced the night away!! The DJ had to announce that the last song was being played to inform everyone that the party was over *tear*. It was so sad to see it come to an end! 

The ceremony was absolutely gorgeous as well! Valena and JB got married at St Peter Baptist Church in Glen Allen, VA.  Reception was at the Cultural Arts Center in Glen Allen, VA.  Of course, I teared up throughout the ceremony, but I am proud to say I didn't actually cry!! Just a little misty eyed action.  There were a few things that happened during the ceremony that had me laughing inside which kept it light for me! I usually am a true water works at weddings, but I've gotten better over the years. Probably because I've gone to so many weddings! I think this was wedding number 17 or 18 for me!

Everything came together so nicely and definitely was worth all the stress that goes into planning a wedding!! I'm so happy for Val because she certainly deserves happiness and true love!!! I wish them many many blessings and years of marital bliss!! 

                          

Here's a picture of Valena's grandmother getting down on the dance floor! She's 91 years YOUNG!! I love grandmother!! She's always the life of the party! Photograph taken by Derrel Todd.

                                 

A little photo booth fun with me and the girls! I love photo booths at weddings! It's so fun and I love the feeling of nostalgia I get after getting the strip of pics that prints out when you step out of the booth.

Kia and I in the limo heading to the wedding

Congrats again to the Browns!!!! God bless!!! :)

7 pounds

I'm finally back home after being gone for a little over a week!! These past 10 days have been awesome and lots of fun has been had! The first stop was to Washington, DC for my sorority's centennial followed by heading to Richmond to see my BFF, Valena get married. 

While attending the centennial celebration in DC, I stayed with a sorority sister who actually lives in Maryland. This made it easy to have home cooked meals and to easily access food that wasn't just quick and convenient (i.e. fast food and other junk foods).  Although I had this privilege of being able to access a full kitchen in order to stick to a healthy diet....I gotta be honest...I didn't! SMH! During this time, I would say I had a 1/2 and 1/2 approach to a clean diet. 

I planned to workout and go running a few times while there, but with the heat index exceeding over 100 degrees most days, I was only able to go for a run one day.  The boxing class went really well and it kicked my butt!!! It was an AWESOME workout!! I was so hooked on it that I wished I lived in that area and would have been able to join the gym.  After the class, my date and I grabbed some brunch and both of us decided on chicken and waffles...(smh again...how counterproductive to an amazing workout).  I was just living it up these past few days!!!

When I got to Richmond, I planned to get myself back on track and went grocery shopping for some clean eats! I picked up fresh fruits and veggies, Greek yogurt, and some other things.  I always overestimate how much I really need and end up buying more than I can consume.  Sure enough, several things ended up getting left in my friend Jaime's refrigerator to be later consumed by her I suppose! This was helpful that I did purchase my own food, but attending Valena's rehearsal dinner, wedding, and brunch the morning after the wedding just totally had me way off track!

The rehearsal dinner was at Maggiano's Little Italy in Short Pump, VA.  There was so much food and I totally was just eating it just because it was there. I was stuffed after the first course came out, but do you think I stopped there!? No! I kept stuffing my face because I wanted to taste and eat it all! Smh! Seriously these are the old habits I used to have that assisted in putting on the extra weight in the first place.  At the wedding, there was so much good food with a New Orleans/creole flair on top of an open bar!! Damn those drink calories that just add up and up with no nutritional value whatsoever.  

And the cake! Oh the cake!!! Unlike Ana Mae Bullock....I ate that cake! And once again, the next morning, at brunch, I went all the way in once again. Mimosas were unlimited and there was left over cake from the wedding.    

Needless to say, I totally had the time of my life with friends and family these past few days....but uh....yeah....when I woke up this morning, I had to hop on the scale to see what kind of damage I had done to myself.

Not even to my surprise, I gained 7 pounds.....oh the shame! 

So what's the point of sharing all of this? We all go on vacation and enjoy ourselves a little more than we know we should....indulging in all kinds of reckless foolery.  But there is always a chance to get back on track and recognize those old habits that we know if we keep it up, we'll be right back to where we started.  Falling down will happen, but getting back up is the most important part. I think I just slid all the way down the hill, more than just a little slip and fall, but I still have goals that need to be achieved. 

My half marathon is in less than 2 months and I have to get myself back in gear! I'll be going back to work in a few weeks as well (omg this summer went by so fast).  This will get me back to my normal life and all the traveling will come to a halt.  Today I took it easy and slept the majority of the day. I haven't slept in a real bed in over a week so it felt good to sleep in my own bed!! My body needed the rest! 

I'll be getting back to business tomorrow!! These 7 pounds are about to be torched like a forest fire! They gots to go!!! 

How has your summer been going? Have you too had moments of falling off track after a vacation or just in general? How do you plan to get back on your regular routine?

Thus far...

Hello everyone! As I have mentioned in a previous post, the month of July is popping with awesome events in my life!

My friend Dionne's wedding was absolutely beautiful!!!! I have never in my life seen or heard of her crying, yet for the first time, on July 6, 2013, I witnessed the sweetest flow of tears as Dionne read her vows to her husband! It truly touches and warms my heart to bear witness to the love that is growing in the lives of my friends!

Congrats Mrs. Henderson!!!

And oh let me just say....the DJ was ROCKIN!!!! DJ Lonnie B was on the 1s and 2s and Kelli Lemon was the hostess with the mostest keeping the party going!!! We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves! I challenged one of the bridesmaids, Angela to a dance competition encouraging one another to stay on the dance floor all night long...no breaks! I must admit, I injured myself while going down the Soul Train line (smh....klutz) by stepping on my foot in my stilettos (OUCH)!!! It was truly a freak accident, but I kept rockin...I'm slightly competitive at times! And with good music and a few drinks, I was able to shake it off like a G!

Good food, good music, good friends, good CAKE.....whew I love weddings!!!

Next up on the social cal is Delta Sigma Theta's Centennial!!! I'm picking my sister Ange up from the airport tomorrow morning (ahhhh I can't wait to see my Kiki!!!!) and then we're heading on up to the madness of the Delta Takeover in DC!!! I'm super excited, but I must admit, I am slightly overwhelmed just thinking about how many people are going to be up there. I'm sure once we get there and find a parking spot (oh Lord be a good parking spot) and get to all the places we need to go, it's going to be an amazing time that will go down in herstory!!! Yesssss!!!

There are so many different parties to choose from and so many sorors that I really want to see while I'm up there!! I hope to be able to squeeze everything in without having an anxiety attack! I'm sure everything will be fine, but whew I forsee this event being B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!! 

Oh...did I tell y'all?? I'm taking my very first boxing class on Saturday morning! 

I'm really excited about this because I've always wanted to take a class, but never have! I'm actually going with a date who has been talking mad smack lately sooooo I'm feeling like a combination of Laila Ali and Tina Turner when she let Ike have it in the limo towards the end of What's Love Got to Do With It!

Ok just kidding! But seriously! I'm all into unconventional, fun, different dates, so I suggested that we go boxing and he happily agreed! I think it's going to be a really good time although I'm not really sure what to expect from the class. The description online sounds like it's going to be a great workout! I'll be sure to give an update on how it goes! I told my dad about it and he was tickled pink! He says "Oh wow!!! I can't wait to hear all about it!!!" :)

So tomorrow is Friday!!! What do you guys have planned for the weekend!?

The Vow

Yesterday while I was at church, I got to thinking about my mother. I started thinking about how much I missed her and how much I wish she was here with me. I started going through different phases of the grief cycle while I sat there and listened to the choir sing a rendition of Tasha Cobb's Break Every Chain.  I believe I had heard this song before, but I wasn't 100% sure.  I had high expectations for it as the interlude played when my best friend, Jaime and her sister both exclaimed "this is my SONG"!!  As the soloist began to sing, I instantly fell in love with the song.

Either way, as I listened and thought about Bubbies, I thought about making a vow to myself to live the best life I could. A vow to live a healthy lifestyle. To eat right and exercise for the rest of my life. To appreciate the small joys in life.  To pray through anxiety instead of letting worry completely wreck my brain. To rely fully on God to guide me through life. To not only just say I'll trust Him, but to actively trust Him!

Although our world is really messed up and there are so many bad things going on, I vow to be a positive force in this life.  With everyone I come in contact with, I vow to let my light shine and do my best to make the world a better place.

Right now I'm reading a book called How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.  I was a tad reluctant to read it initially because I don't feel like I need to win anymore friends. I also think I'm doing ok in the department of influencing people. A friend of mine chose the book as his pick. We take turns choosing books and don't complain about what the other has chosen.  Anyway, after reading one chapter, my interest has officially been piqued. The first chapter basically talks about not judging people or criticizing them.  It encourages you to try to understand where someone is coming from before you form any type of opinion regarding their circumstance or their character. I thought I was a rather empathetic person before, but now I feel like I have a new outlook on empathy and understanding other human beings.

I reflected this morning about how thankful I am for the person I have become. How God really has turned my life around for the best. I am amazed and in awe on a regular basis because life has been so much better for me despite things that I thought would completely tear me apart and ruin me.

So here I stand. I vow to live my best life! I'm doing this for myself, for my unborn children, and unborn grandchildren.  I'm mainly doing this for God, who intends for me to live the life He has given me to the fullest!!

Happenings in July

Wake up, wake up, wake up....it's the first of the moooooonttthhh!!!! 

July 1 to be exact (bittersweet)!! Summer is cruising on by (ahhhh I have like only 6 weeks left...boo).  So what does this mean for me? It means every weekend this month, there will be some pretty awesome happenings going on in my life!! 

1st up on the social calendar is the nuptials of my homegirl Dionne and her soon-to-be husband Brian!

photographer: Eunique Gibson

I've known Dionne since 2005 and I'm so excited for her!! Her wedding will be in Richmond, VA on July 6th! I'm expecting a turnt-up good time from the Wheeler-Henderson gang! This will be my 2nd wedding of the year (with 2 more to go for 2013). I love going to weddings! And I am friends with tons of love birds because I've been to like 20 thus far! 

Next up is Delta Sigma Theta, Sorority Inc's 100th Anniversary Centennial Celebration in DC!

Dear residents of the DMV area:

Prepare for the Deltas to TAKE OVER your city!!!

This is a huge event that will be held in the city that our sorority was founded in (on the campus of Howard University).  There will be thousands of sorors in the area and there will be tons of things to do! Basically another turnt-up good time! 

Aside from the Centennial, I'm super pumped to say that I'll be taking my first boxing class on Saturday, July 13th at a gym in Rockville, MD!!  Afterwards we'll be grabbing some lunch probably at the Rockville Towne Center, then I'll be heading back to DC for more sorority activities! 

July 20th is another very special day that will have me crying, snotting, and carrying on like a weeping willow...I'm quite sure! It's the day my best friend since 9th grade, Valena will be getting married!!!!

photographer: Derrel Todd

 Now I usually cry at most weddings, but this one right here...oh I know it's going to be a waterworks production! Why you may ask!? Well like I said, Valena and I have been friends since 9th grade and we've been there for each other for all the many different shenanigans with men and all the ups and downs in between. And now, finally, God says it's time for Valena to meet her special one that He has kept for her and she is GETTING MARRIED!!! I couldn't be more happier for my friend! I really like her husband-to-be for her and I wish them many, many years of happiness and love in the years to come!

And for the final weekend in July.....BEYONCE CONCERT: CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA!!!

I can't believe I'm going to a BEYONCE concert!!! I'm going with my best friend Jaime, and we're meeting my sister and her husband in Charlotte for the show! I'm anticipating a really good time and lots of dancing!!! I here Bey sure does know how to put on a good show so come on Mrs. Carter....show us what you workin with!!!! 

And for every other day in between these events, I'll be sitting at home trying to stay disciplined to not spend any other money including eating red beans and rice because July is truly going to be one for the BOOKS!!!! 

What are your plans for the month of July?