Thoughts of Thankfulness

Happy New Year!!

We have made it to 2013 and I'm super excited!! I woke up this morning and the first thing I could think of was to tell God "thank you".  I had so much to be thankful for, but I couldn't put into words all that I wanted to thank him for! It was an overwhelming feeling of joy that I experienced as I realized I am now stepping into a new year and new season of my life.

When I was in 8th grade, some kids at school was talking about the world coming to an end in the year 2000.  As we walked the track during gym class, some of my classmates began to elaborate on this theory that had come out about this Y2K phenomenon that many believed would be the end of the world.  I admitted to my classmates that I had not been baptized before and one of them felt compelled to inform me that I was indeed going to hell if I didn't get baptized soon! The year was 1997 and I didn't have much time to prepare for this "scheduled"coming of the Lord!! 

I went home panicking and I told my mother all that these kids had told me.  I immediately begged my mother to take me back to church so that I could be baptized.  Growing up, our family attended church occasionally.  We belonged to a church and I was dedicated to the Lord at a very young age, but our attendance began to slack off when my mother began working three jobs to support the family.  Being a single mother, I suppose she was just too tired to try to get three kids ready for church on Sundays.  The church we went to only had one service and it was at 8am.  

My mom agreed to take us back to church and on December 13, 1997 my sister and I got baptized.  After we were baptized and attended new members classes, I remember going back to church here and there, but I found it to be extremely boring and rarely paid attention when I was there.  

Fast forward to high school....

As we continued to attend church, I started to catch on to the cliche "church sayings" that many of the members would utter from time to time.  You know the sayings like "God is good all the time, and all the time God is good", "If I had 1 million tongues, I couldn't thank you enough, Lord", "if you never do anything else for me, you have already done enough"! To a spiritually immature teenager, those phrases meant nothing to me.  I actually used to think of a rebuttal for them at times thinking to myself "well God, there are actually a few other things I need for you to do for me before I can declare you've already done enough"!  Anywho...I remember it was the year 2002 (wow look at that, yet another person predicting the end of the world who was wrong! lol) and the church had held a recognition ceremony for high school seniors who were graduating and going off to college or the work force.  All of the graduates stood on a stage lined up with their graduation gowns on, medals of honor, and a nice certificate presented by the church.  We then were given the opportunity to step up to the microphone and give a speech of thanks.  I was the last person to give my speech and as the other graduates spoke, I noticed a "trend" among their speeches.  Every one of the graduates first thanked God for their achievements, then they went into thanking their parents, other family members, and some even thanked friends.  As they spoke, I felt like this is getting extremely redundant and felt like they were saying this stuff just to say it! I felt no passion! It was so rehearsed! 

So now it's my turn! I step up to the mic and the first thing that comes out of my mouth was "I know you guys are tired of hearing everyone say "I just want to thank God..." so I'm NOT going to say that..." 

*BLANK STARE* 

I think I might have heard a pin drop! WHAT WAS I THINKING?? I'm at a church and have the nerve to declare "you guys have got to be tired of hearing everyone thank God"! I will never forget that moment.  And now 11 years later, I'm still slightly embarrassed that I said that.  I've thought I was a "comic" for some time now, so maybe I was trying to be funny.  Totally not the time or place for such a "joke".  

Either way, I look back over that moment and I think about how much I have grown as a Christian.  Those cliche "church sayings" that I mentioned earlier are uttered from my mouth on a regular basis now.  They may be over used statements, but they carry so much meaning! God has truly done more than enough for me in my life time.  He still blessed me even when I straight dissed him at the church awards ceremony! I gave him no credit whatsoever for my accomplishments! SMH (that's shaking my head in case you're an older reader and didn't know).  

Sometimes I get down on my knees to pray and I go on and on and on thanking God as if he didn't hear me.  That level of gratitude even spills out to others when someone does something for me.  I will issue a sincere thank you and then express my gratitude again and again.  I feel like I can't thank God or kind people enough! When we live in  a world where kindness is taken as a weakness, and doing things for people has some what become a right not a privilege, I feel like expressing thanks is so important! 

As I stand on the first day of a new year, I step into 2013 with great expectations, a humble spirit, and a thankful heart! I'm thankful for my family, the relationship my sister and I have now that used to not be as pleasant or wonderful, for traveling mercies as I traveled during this holiday season, for keeping us safe last night, for food to eat, clothes to wear, and a warm home to live in.  I'm thankful for my friends who texted me pictures of their celebration last night as they brought in the new year an hour before me (I'm on Central time here in Memphis), I'm thankful for the text message I got from my god-daughter's mother at midnight saying "HAPPY NEW YEAR GODMOMMY". It made me think back to 2007 when my mom was the first person to call me to wish me a happy new year.  Selfishly, I resented the fact that my first call of 2007 was from my mother and not a love interest.  That was the last new year my mother would call me to say happy new year since she died 2 months later. So I cherished that moment of my goddaughter thinking of me and wanting to be one of the first to wish me a happy new year! I would give anything to get a call like that from my mom again.  I'm thankful for my relationship with God and my desire to want to tell the world about Jesus and his love! I'm thankful for Jesus dying for my sins and loving me more than I could ever imagine.  I could go on and on because the list is endless!! I will close with this, I'm thankful for this new year.  New possibilities, new opportunities, a new attitude, new accomplishments, new lessons, new blessings, new mercies, and not necessarily a new me, but a better me! 

Thank you, Lord! :)