Keeping it real

Through this process of bettering myself and inspiring others, I have realized that being honest with others ultimately leads to truly being honest with myself. Both concepts can be challenging, but both are very necessary in order to grow.

I've been on the journey to living a healthier lifestyle for a few months now. It really started in January when I decided that I was not only going to exercise, but I was also going to eat right! It's so easy to go through life and talk about your successes, but the real test is in that moment of adversity, inconvenience, or even failure.

Last night I had some friends over for a girls night! I knew before they came that the menu items would be pizza from a local pizzeria, wine, and whatever other snacks the girls brought along with them.  I provided a sensible snack of spinach and kale Greek yogurt dip coupled with Gorgonzola oven baked crackers all from Trader Joe's. I was really excited about trying out these new snacks even though I wouldn't have purchased them for the house had it not been for the girls night. I had eaten a little bit before the girls showed up and I had planned to only have one slice of pizza and maybe one glass of wine. I had it all planned out! Unfortunately, by the time they arrived, I was hungrier than I had expected.  I chose the largest slice of pizza in the box for my first slice! I can't even tell you how much tortilla chips and hummus I consumed along with grazing over my own contribution to the party of the spin and kale dip w/ the Gorgonzola crackers. I also had two glasses of wine instead of the one that I had planned to have. I then helped myself to another slice of pizza (in which I found another larger slice in the box).

The real test came when it was time for my friends to leave. I noticed they were leaving, but didn't take the leftover pizza with them. I stopped them at the door with the box in my hand asking them to take it with them, BUT they insisted that I keep it. Oh my.....eeekkkk!!! I accepted the box of 6 huge slices of cheese pizza and said my good-byes to my friends. As I closed the door still holding the box, I thought about what I was really going to do with it. One thing about me is that I hate to waste food. I knew keeping the pizza would be counterproductive to my new healthy lifestyle, but I was torn. So I put the pizza in the refrigerator and went upstairs to get ready for bed.

You might be thinking, this is ridiculous that she's going back and forth in her head about this dag gone pizza...JUST EAT IT OR THROW IT AWAY! Simple right!? NO! IT'S NOT! I really struggled with this decision because I told myself, I could just eat off the pizza for a few days and eat it in "moderation".  I also thought about freezing it and saving it for another day when I felt like indulging. Then I thought about how far I've come.  I thought about my old ways of thinking.  Thinking that I could just eat what I wanted, then go work it off in the gym.  I thought of my goals. I thought of all of you who I have inspired to keep going! I finally went to bed and let my thoughts settle.  When I woke up in the morning, I had decided that I would discard the box of pizza. Before I could give it anymore thought, I went downstairs, gather up all the trash that had collected on my counter tops and took the box to the dumpster.  I heaved it in before I could change my mind and it was gone! LOL.  When I got back from the gym this morning, I felt good about the decision and I chose a healthy post work out meal to enjoy.  Had I kept that pizza, I would have been enjoying a slice or two of it because it was available.  

Because my journey is new and I'm still getting accustomed to this lifestyle, I knew I wasn't strong enough to keep food around in my house that would be counterproductive to my goals. Perhaps later on down the line, I could have more self control, but I know myself. Knowing yourself is truly a key factor in this whole thing. Being honest with yourself, setting limits, and adhering to those limits.

I also gained some weight that I discovered when I got on the scale this morning at the gym. I don't know if it's from muscle (I did put up a lot of hard work in the weight room this week) or if it's from the food I ate last night.  I'm admitting this because it shows that I'm real and I struggle too! I debated on whether or not I should record my weight gain on my My Fitness Pal app, but then I said "yes, I'm going to record it".  I'm going to show my follower friends on there that I have weeks that seem like a set back.  I have moments that bring my weaknesses to the forefront. And I have my moments of overcoming these things that make me stronger!